So all it took was a talk with Daddy and words of comfort in the form of comments and emails and I am feeling better. I’ve learned to relax, however it still kind of worries me when I don’t get enough accomplished. It just makes me feel good when I get things done.
So what happened during my Baby Blues/Emotional episode?
Rolling out of the hospital in the wheelchair, I remembered waddling in while having contractions with intentions of getting my cervix checked only. A lady was in tears running to see about a loved one…
The first day home Brahms Lullaby played over and over in my head. It made me teary eyed. Leaving the birthing center and being wheeled to my private room, I got to press a button which played Brahms Lullaby, an indicator that a new baby has been born. Of course I heard this song over and over as new babies in the center were born.
My mother stayed with us from April 23rd – May 2nd. She smokes. I cried because parts of the house smelled like smoke and I really don’t want Boogie around smoke. (She started off smoking outside, but every time she went out there, one of our neighbors happened to be out too. He was a chatterbox and my mother just wanted to relax.)
I really didn’t start feeling bad until after my mother left. When she was here Boogie wasn’t much trouble. Daddy and I hogged him the whole time. My mother had to literally ask to do something. When she left, I had like every symptom in the book.
I was attacked with frequent crying/tearfulness.
I felt “blah”. I’d talk to my mother on the phone and not have much to say. I felt unmotivated since tasks had piled up. I couldn’t concentrate, still can’t at times. I’ve had a case of Mommy Brain since the pregnancy. Guess I have to deal with it, lol.
I felt bad because I had just had a baby and I wasn’t smiling from ear to ear.
I had something like a midlife crisis, only I’m just starting the second decade of my life. I started thinking about how fast Boogie is going to grow up and how tomorrow I’m going to be a grandmother!
I lost my appetite.
I felt alone.
I started thinking about how dependent I am of Daddy and what would Boogie and I do if something happened to him. I missed cuddling with him.
I felt miserable basically.
But I’m much better!!! :-D
Shirli and Keisha encouraged me to spit this all out on Mommy Daddy Blog. I thank them, Daddy, and all of you guys who have left me words of comfort! I REALLY appreciate it! I feel like less of a loon now, lol.
Now for some F-U-N!
I’m joining in on the fun by sharing what I know now about motherhood.
- I am susceptible to the Baby Blues. How could I not include this one?
- Motherhood isn’t ALL rainbows and lollypops. Eh, I kinda KNEW that. Ok, having a baby isn’t ALL rainbows and lollypops, there’s some tornadoes and licorice (hoping most people HATE licorice) in mix too.
- Motherhood is feeding your child first although you haven’t eaten all day. When you do eat, it’s whatever’s quick and you end up chomping it down so that you can get back to motherhood.
- Motherhood is snot, spit-up, breast milk, and baby tinkle dripped all over your bed and clothes and not caring.
But it’s all worth it!