Warning, this is a long post! I started this post on November 22nd which explains why I said it’s been two months since my last post.
It’s been two months since my last post and I must say that things are good. I look back last year and remember the days when we scrambled to pay bills late and after paying them not having much left over. I honestly don’t know how we did it, but we did it together. During that time, so much was going on, I didn’t feel like blogging here. I was trying to do my thing as as a parenting blogger at Mommy Daddy Blog, so I felt the need to make sure my issues weren’t blasted into the blogosphere. I wanted to keep everything rainbows and lollipops, but we all know life is far from that. I know I like to read happy and uplifting things, the last thing I wanted to do was turn people off. But when you let people into that chapter of your life, your experiences may be comforting to someone who may be going through the same. That’s why I started reading blogs.
I’m working on showing my human side again online. The side I showed before becoming a parent. When Greg and I started Mommy Daddy Blog, I had intentions of running both this blog and that one. I couldn’t keep up. I pushed myself to the side. I started censoring myself in fear of offending readers or the ones who contributed to our cash flow. And I mean it was the little things, not even things that were truly offensive. But I just felt I couldn’t let my true character shine once sponsors came in to the mix. I paid attention to the “image” brands were going for and the other mom bloggers who were climbing the social media ladder. Anything that would give the impression of us not having it together, I simply kept bottled up inside.
I am not the cookie cutter mom in the tv commercials. I’m young and I’m just starting out. I am 23 and Greg is 22. I could care less about any negative thoughts on being young parents or not having a plan in place. Jayden was a surprise, but starting a family was something that we wanted more than anything. He is our everything. Just to give a taste of how badly we wanted kids, our dog had his own bedroom and a wardrobe. We took him wherever we could. I wore him in a sling. Yea. And no, we weren’t one of those couples who compared the struggles of taking care of a pet to the struggles of taking care of a child, but we loved that dog.
Moving on, we are far from the Joneses. And I realize umm we don’t have to be. We are doing a hell of a lot better than many folks who are or were our age with or without kids. But I felt if I wrote about our struggles, opportunities to monetize our blog would not come. The first year of becoming parents was rough financially. We moved to be closer to family, school and job left behind. We’ve resented that move many times. It was like we moved just so that it could be more convenient for family to see Jay. That’s it. And when they saw him, we were coming out there all of the time. Why did we move again?
Some time in between Greg fell out of love with blogging. I’ll let him comment on that if he wishes. I struggled trying to keep things afloat and failed. There’s only so many cutesy picture posts of Jayden that I could post before readers start wondering why sponsors are working with me when the content has gotten so damn bland. I had a hard time taking compliments on something that I wasn’t even proud of. I cringed each time I heard someone tell me how cool it was that both Greg and I blogged together when the last post he wrote was many many months ago.
Things are better since we moved again in September. We are still about the same distance from family and they visit more. Greg’s parents and grandmother pick up Jayden when they can, so we can rejuvenate. Finances are much much better. I realize all of my blogging faux pas and I’m ready to pull myself out of the ditch and continue down the road I veered off of. I’m going back to the basics. That doesn’t mean that I’m no longer participating in sponsored opportunities. Blogging is my business. Running a business is my passion, just not when I am not being myself while doing it. Let me stop and say how thankful I am for my sponsors. I am not blaming them at all for my actions. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know where we’d be. We’ve been truly blessed.
Personal blogging is something that I really enjoyed for 6 years. I tried something new (mom blogging as I perceived it) and it didn’t work. It’s time to move on. I will be ringing in the new year with intentions of keeping it real. It’s the only way I can be a confident and passionate blogger. Starting over in a sense kinda worried me. But you know what? It’s not about the blog and stats you’ve built. It’s about the person behind the blog. I know my following will meet me here. As I continue to write, traffic from search engines and other sources will trickle in. If I cannot build brand relationships based on being myself, then I don’t need them. Simple as that.
Related Post: Switching Gears To Fuel My Passion
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Good for you, Sheena! Looking forward to reading more here.
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
“But when you let people into that chapter of your life, your experiences may be comforting to someone who may be going through the same. That’s why I started reading blogs.”
I appreciate post like these because this is also why I started reading blogs. I completely understand your decision to monetize and use sponsors…heck, I was trying to do the same until my 9 to 5, my daughter (i’m a single parent) and my life in general started getting in the way. But I fell off reading MommyDaddyBlog because, although I’m a parent, I just wasn’t into the reviews as much. I was looking to connect with parents about the joys of parenthood and the freakin’ difficult stuff we go through. I’m glad you’re back to personal blogging. But most of all, I’m happy you made a decision to do what makes you happy.
I’m with you.
It’s so ironic the parallels that exist in life. I got married at 21 and had our son at 22. I often found, that as I became more subsumed in “our life,” and my life as a wife and mother, I began neglecting me. The more you became submerged in Mommy Daddy, the more your personal blog was ignored.
I think that, no matter what age, mothers will always struggle to negotiate the balance between their personal selves and their mommy/wife/lover selves. I think that this is the true struggle of womanhood. Keeping your own self when everything around you seems(emphasis on seems) to demand selflessness.
YOU GO GIRL! Well said and I’m happy to see you follow your true passions! I think MANY bloggers do what you’ve been doing and not being their true selves to avoid criticism or fear less opportunities. Proud of ya!
Awesomeness :) I look forward to reading YOUR blog, honey! Do what makes you happy… that’s what blogging is about – YOU.
I was a young mom too, by the way {obviously} … My birthday is today. I’m 27. My oldest child is almost 10 years old. So, yeah. lol Just wanted to throw that in. You do you. No one else can do it like you can! :)
*high five* Go for it!
Congrats on following your passion Sheena! 2009 was an growing year for me as I was swept into a blogging whirlwind and realized late in the year that I, too, had fallen away from my passion. So we’re both starting this New Year reviving our respective passions and it WILL BE GOOD! :)
Kudos to you on following your heart. Now that so many family member have my URL, self censorship has been heavy on my mind. I didn’t tart my blog to NOT say what’s on my mind. I hope I can get to the same place you are now.
As a young mother myself, first one at 20, I can relate with the struggles of still trying to be a kid but making that switch into being a parent. Always remember that you need to do what feels right to you and your family.
Keep up the great work!
I think what you are doing is great! I will be reading along here and when (and if) you start back up at MDB I will be there too! Sorry I don’t comment much, I will try to start doing better about that =) I have been a reader for a while, I just rarely comment.
Happy New Year!
I commend you for pursuing your authentic self. I’m wondering though, if the original mommy blogger Dooce could be successful with being herself, couldn’t other mommy bloggers do the same? Or have sponsors totally put the kibosh on perceived “negativity”?
I feel you and I have only been “mommy” blogging two months and I too have completely neglected my pre pregnancy blog. I am glad you shared, I started to feel the same things!
I was a young mommy too. 20 when I had my oldest. I totally get the whole not wanting to be all “mommy blogging” I took that in to very careful consideration when picking my name. Yes I will blog mommy stuff but I will talk about me, products, random thoughts because that is what I want to talk about, not just parenting (even if it gets thrown into the mix LOL). So A Daily Dose of Toni (juststopscreaming.com) is what I came up with, while juststopscreaming can fit with kids if I want it to it more applies to me keeping my sanity through daily life :)
I will for sure add this to my reader and follow you because you rock :)
***Some people don’t like their greens to touch their cornbread***
Well alright, Sheena is HERE, somebody pass dem greens.
Very Excited for your transformation. :)
THanks for this post! Just letting you know that I’m a 23 year old mom too, and I love it! There is nothing else I would rather do and I’m sure you feel the same way. It’s okay to be “just starting out.” DOesn’t everyone have to start out?? It’s okay to have to budget because money is tight. I have to. I say–just be YOU, and take care of your responsibilities the best you can. Who cares what other people think? It’s not their place to judge, especially because most of the time they don’t even see the whole picture. I surely have so many things to work on, and unfortunately at times do care what others think– but I think we need to just focus on ourselves and our family, work at becoming better, and enjoy our precious lives as we go.
Very Nice Post Sheena!
It is SO easy to get swept up into that fake nicey-nicey crap. I mean, there’s a time and a place for politeness. I try not to cuss on my blog because I know there are many people who follow that just don’t agree with bad language. But that doesn’t mean it never happens. I’ve dropped the f-bomb in the posts about losing my best friend to breast cancer. And if I lose followers or sponsors? F’them, too, if they don’t know how bad it hurts to watch someone die.
You said, “If I cannot build brand relationships based on being myself, then I don’t need them. Simple as that.” To that I say, “Amen.” and I love you! You are such a beautiful person.
Sheena,
Thanks for having the strength to write something real! I’ve realized over this past year I’ve gone away from that too and intend to write more for myself than my sponsors this upcoming year. I honestly like to hear about people’s struggles. We often find ourselves in the same situations and hearing from one another helps tremendously to know your not alone.
Keep up the great blogging, your loyal readers will always follow.
Happy New Year!!!
I was young. I’m still young. And we aren’t perfect either. In fact… we’re kinda sucky parents but we do a good job seeing as our kid is still alive xD
You’re fine. Don’t let people get you down. And if they do, KICK EM IN TEH BALLS!! :D You have my official permission.
Sheena,
This was deep. It takes a lot to come clean so kudos to you for discussing your struggles. As a blogger, you have the choice to share as much and as little as you want to. I hope your other readers appreciate the fact that you are evolving and sharing at the same time. I will be locked in. I love your style!
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