Warning, this is a long post! I started this post on November 22nd which explains why I said it’s been two months since my last post.
It’s been two months since my last post and I must say that things are good. I look back last year and remember the days when we scrambled to pay bills late and after paying them not having much left over. I honestly don’t know how we did it, but we did it together. During that time, so much was going on, I didn’t feel like blogging here. I was trying to do my thing as as a parenting blogger at Mommy Daddy Blog, so I felt the need to make sure my issues weren’t blasted into the blogosphere. I wanted to keep everything rainbows and lollipops, but we all know life is far from that. I know I like to read happy and uplifting things, the last thing I wanted to do was turn people off. But when you let people into that chapter of your life, your experiences may be comforting to someone who may be going through the same. That’s why I started reading blogs.
I’m working on showing my human side again online. The side I showed before becoming a parent. When Greg and I started Mommy Daddy Blog, I had intentions of running both this blog and that one. I couldn’t keep up. I pushed myself to the side. I started censoring myself in fear of offending readers or the ones who contributed to our cash flow. And I mean it was the little things, not even things that were truly offensive. But I just felt I couldn’t let my true character shine once sponsors came in to the mix. I paid attention to the “image” brands were going for and the other mom bloggers who were climbing the social media ladder. Anything that would give the impression of us not having it together, I simply kept bottled up inside.
I am not the cookie cutter mom in the tv commercials. I’m young and I’m just starting out. I am 23 and Greg is 22. I could care less about any negative thoughts on being young parents or not having a plan in place. Jayden was a surprise, but starting a family was something that we wanted more than anything. He is our everything. Just to give a taste of how badly we wanted kids, our dog had his own bedroom and a wardrobe. We took him wherever we could. I wore him in a sling. Yea. And no, we weren’t one of those couples who compared the struggles of taking care of a pet to the struggles of taking care of a child, but we loved that dog.
Moving on, we are far from the Joneses. And I realize umm we don’t have to be. We are doing a hell of a lot better than many folks who are or were our age with or without kids. But I felt if I wrote about our struggles, opportunities to monetize our blog would not come. The first year of becoming parents was rough financially. We moved to be closer to family, school and job left behind. We’ve resented that move many times. It was like we moved just so that it could be more convenient for family to see Jay. That’s it. And when they saw him, we were coming out there all of the time. Why did we move again?
Some time in between Greg fell out of love with blogging. I’ll let him comment on that if he wishes. I struggled trying to keep things afloat and failed. There’s only so many cutesy picture posts of Jayden that I could post before readers start wondering why sponsors are working with me when the content has gotten so damn bland. I had a hard time taking compliments on something that I wasn’t even proud of. I cringed each time I heard someone tell me how cool it was that both Greg and I blogged together when the last post he wrote was many many months ago.
Things are better since we moved again in September. We are still about the same distance from family and they visit more. Greg’s parents and grandmother pick up Jayden when they can, so we can rejuvenate. Finances are much much better. I realize all of my blogging faux pas and I’m ready to pull myself out of the ditch and continue down the road I veered off of. I’m going back to the basics. That doesn’t mean that I’m no longer participating in sponsored opportunities. Blogging is my business. Running a business is my passion, just not when I am not being myself while doing it. Let me stop and say how thankful I am for my sponsors. I am not blaming them at all for my actions. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know where we’d be. We’ve been truly fortunate.
Personal blogging is something that I really enjoyed for 6 years. I tried something new (mom blogging as I perceived it) and it didn’t work. It’s time to move on. I will be ringing in the new year with intentions of keeping it real. It’s the only way I can be a confident and passionate blogger. Starting over in a sense kinda worried me. But you know what? It’s not about the blog and stats you’ve built. It’s about the person behind the blog. I know my following will meet me here. As I continue to write, traffic from search engines and other sources will trickle in. If I cannot build brand relationships based on being myself, then I don’t need them. Simple as that.
Related Post: Switching Gears To Fuel My Passion
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[...] the past, I’ve faked the funk as a blogger and vow to never ever do it [...]
I was a young mama too (once) ;o) and yep, I completely agree with you about having to do this for yourself. Our husbands can’t do it for us, not our kids. But if writing is something that drives you and you have an honest opinion about yourself and the world – then that’s what draws others to us. I love the clarity I can sense coming from you through this post. It’s good to step back and reassess once in awhile. Otherwise this crazy blogging jungle could eat us up. Keep on keeping on Sheena.
My best, Lynn
Oh, I love this post. Only a handful of people read my blog so I don’t really worry about anything I write. However, I completely agree with you about the importance of sharing struggles. I think nothing really grows from silence and it is in sharing your story, if willing, that you really can make a difference no matter how small.
I started reading blogs because I was a young mom and just could not identify with the images out there of young mothers (esp young black moms) and only one of my friends has children so it felt kinda lonely. I found a lot of young Mormon mommy blogs full of sugary sweet images and while that is nice and inspiring but sometimes you just want to read a little more of story past the glossy images. I look forward to reading about the highs and lows of our journey, whatever you feel comfortable sharing. I’m just glad to have met another young momma through this virtual community.
likeitsgolden´s last [type] ..A Change Gonna Come
Well Sheena I think that is the most refreshingly honest blog post I have ever read. There are countless bloggers writing about how wonderful everything is and thats ok, but sometimes life isn’t wonderful and sometmies we do feel as if its all just too much and we are being driven by things we don’t like or can’t control. Thank you for sharing your lows, it makes you a real person. You are young but you sound like you have a wise head on your shoulders and I am sure you will do very well. Stay true to what you want for you and your family, and I wish you the very best in whatever you do.
Nice space you have here. I had two blogs once, but couldn’t keep up. I went back and forth on combining them. I know it’s not for everyone, but I’m glad I did.
It’s always about what works best for you and what makes you happy.
Looking forward to reading more from you.
I didn't know you had started a new blog. Good on you! Loving it so far! RT @sheenatatum: Let's Try This Again http://bit.ly/bCglHo
Twitter: osvme
I know what you mean. I’ve been focusing more on me and who I am with my blog as well. I couldn’t stand “mommy blogging” anymore. Especially since my son is at school all day and we don’t really have our time together anymore. So there’s no point. And I’m to paranoid to put pics of my son online anyway xD
BUT I will be keeping an eye on this blog. ‘Cause I love reading your posts. :D Gonna add your link to my blog as well.
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..10 Spiffy Blog Designs =-.
Great post! I had a rant on my blog, and retooled it to just a personal blog. Its great to see you stay true to yourself. {p.s. I did the move thing for family after my son was born ,(th still think it was the biggest mistake of my my 20s. But you just learn to accept things for what they are, and move on. Good that you learned that while you are still young.}
I absolutely love this post. I would love nothing else but to help provide for my family through blogging. But if that means that I have to censor myself till there is nothing left…miss me with that, please. I know this, whoever is truly for YOU, will continue to be, even through changes. Thanks for sharing!
~ L. J.
.-= L. J. Miles´s last blog ..Deafness & Social media Conferences ( #Socialmediaconferences ) =-.
Authenticity. Let’s Try This Again by @sheenatatum http://ow.ly/16bA8
Sheena
I really appreciate the honesty of this post. Your transparency is what makes you a real person. We all go through seasons and situations in our lives that we look back on and realize we weren’t being our authentic selves. I’m still trying to determine what’s right for me and what’s not as a blogger. I congratulate you on finding what fits the way you are wired.
I just found our other blog and linked to this one. I hope that you have found your voice again and I look forward to reading you.
I just found your blog. Obviously enough, I haven’t read anything from your Mommy Daddy blog, but this is just a reply to encourage you to follow your heart and your passion. I wish you all the best in your personal and professional life, and look forward to reading what you plan to share with us here.
Be blessed.
sorry you closed your other site – I liked the kid focus! And I like your blogging voice, glad to have “found” you again!
Bravo! From a mom that shut up on her PERSONAL blog awhile for the same reasons. Here’s to you and keepin’ it real! =)
Twitter: kissmykitty
Sheena, I am so happy to hear that you are going to focus on you. I think that is one of the biggest mistakes a lot of mothers to make. They pour their all into their children, and they go to extremes, to the point where their entire identity is intertwined with their children. I’m sorry, but that is just not natural, and that is not healthy. You are a mother, yes, but first and foremost you are a woman, and you need to stay true to yourself. Don’t be a mommy blogger. Be a blogger that happens to be a mommy. <3
And don't worry about being honest about who you are. Honesty is refreshing, and the human side is what we all need to hear. I'm 25 and my husband is 27, but you know what? I was 20 and he was 22 when Alyssa was born. She was a surprise. Ryan was planned… and born when we were 22 and 24… still so young! We got a car, then another car, moved, bought a home, went into debt, are about to file bankruptcy… and we're not even 30! It's insane! But that's life, and you shouldn't try to sugarcoat it. Go with the flow, and be open and honest (as much as you're comfortable with, anyway).
I have written about my life and my life with my husband and children honestly. I have put it out there that I used to weigh over 300 lbs — sadly, closer to 350 than 300 (I had gastric bypass surgery in November, and between that and the 45 lbs. I lost prior to surgery, I'm just a few pounds shy of weighing 240, and I'm plodding on to my goal weight of 160 lbs.!). I have let it all hang out, but the opportunities to monetize and enjoy products and samples for review and giveaways have continued to come in. If anything, being so HONEST and not the typical sparkly mommy blogger has made me more appealing! Hopefully you'll discover the same thing. :)
Too many times, we do what we do for the wrong reasons. Or maybe we have good reasons, but our hearts aren’t in it. You are taking a courageous step to make changes in your blogging life, and I wish you all the best.
I just wanted to post and say I think this reflects your strength. It takes a very strong person to look deep within and admit when something is not working for them. So many people are not strong enough to push aside other things and focus on self. I hope that continuing with this blog you can keep it real for yourself and not focus on others. Yes, “we” are the reason Sponsors and such are attracted to a blog but “you” are the reason you blog. Or that is the way it should be. I am glad you wrote about what matters most to you right now and can respect that. I didn’t know about this blog of yours but will add it to my favs. I think I will enjoy reading about you and your likes. There are times when we as women need to recognize that is what we are, women. So many sides to us and as we focus on being a mom, a wife, an employee, a friend, we sometimes lose ourselves. I commend you for not losing yourself. ;)
Ahhh, I bet that felt good ;-)
I bow to you!