Young And Pregnant. Let The Rudeness Begin.

Note: I’m not pregnant, sorry for the confusion! This post is about the pregnancy with our 22 month old.

Seeing those two pink lines instantly appear on the two pregnancy tests I took? Best thing ever. Calling Greg up while he was in class (college) taking a test? Best thing ever. But when Greg and I announced our pregnancy with Jayden, we got some pretty rude comments. The general rule for replying to a pregnancy announcement is saying “Congratulations” or expressing some sort of happiness, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Some people didn’t get the memo, but I have decided not to publish those comments for a number of reasons.

When a woman announces her pregnancy, the only thing that should come out of your mouth is Congratulations! You can think/assume what you want, but keep it to yourself! Your rudeness can be detrimental to both mom and baby!


What are some rude things that have been said to you after announcing your pregnancy?

Pin on Pinterest0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Share on StumbleUpon0Email this to someoneDigg thisBuffer this page

Sheena Tatum

is the founder of Sophistishe. She's a free spirit, wife, boy mom, rental rebel, curator of pretty things, lover of vintage pyrex, and the tropics. Sheena can be found in NW Indiana with her husband and two scrumptious boys, clutching kraft paper, chalkboard paint, sriracha and chipotle pepper. In the midst of motherhood, wifedom, and managing a growing collection of digital projects, she somehow manages to find zen in being a quirky, introverted, lil’ lady.

27 Comments

  • May 1, 2010

    Carla

    I got pregnant before I graduated high school and I really didn’t announce it to anyone until after I graduated. One of my friends said, “So, you’re just like everyone else around here..”

    I don’t think she meant it in a hurtful way. I believe she was in disbelief and didn’t know what else to say. I don’t think she realized how bad she had hurt my feelings. Nevertheless, she is an outstanding Godmother and I’m blessed to have her by my side for the parenting.

  • March 11, 2010

    Luschka

    I live in an area with a LOT of young mums (by which I mean 16 and up) and although I’m 30 and had been trying for five years with my husband, my GP wasn’t all that thrilled. I was 5 weeks pregnant and bleeding heavily and in tears and she said ‘it’s okay if you miscarry. at least you know you can fall pregnant now’. I thought that was pretty rude. and cruel, really!
    .-= Luschka´s last blog ..Uncomfortable Truths about Childhood Eczema =-.

  • February 27, 2010

    mandy

    I had just turned 20, and had just gotten engaged, when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. So you can imagine the comments I got. People that didn’t know me, and just SAW me, would ask me things like, “Are you married?” and “Are you going to finish high school?” which was my favorite, because I was 20, not 16!!
    .-= mandy´s last blog ..You Spin Me Right Round, Baby =-.

  • February 27, 2010

    tanyetta

    These comments are cracking me up! It’s horrifying how many RUDE people there are in this world. Blah. :(
    .-= tanyetta´s last blog ..I am Morbidly Obese. =-.

  • February 27, 2010

    Rachelle @ They Call Me Mommy

    … the first time around (last few months of grad school), the worst things said to me came from the daddy-to-be. It’s etched in my memory, and while he’s come around (who wouldn’t with such a beautiful little girl to claim?), I still remember.

    me: We’re pregnant.
    him: Who?
    me: I am pregnant.
    him:You roped me in. I never thought someone who said they loved me would trick me like this.
    me[crying]:Wow…

    Truth told, there was no “trick” and I wasn’t slinging a rope like some cowgirl. Fast forward seven years and it worked out for the better. I saw the real guy. I have an amazing kid. I am blessed. Would-be joy-killers have no place in my life.
    .-= Rachelle @ They Call Me Mommy´s last blog ..Another resident artist =-.

  • February 26, 2010

    Joanna

    I haven’t really had anything rude said to me about being young and pregnant but I can relate to any negative looks that you get when your young and pregnant.
    .-= Joanna´s last blog ..Hey. Oh uh, come on, um in! =-.

  • February 25, 2010

    Sara@MommaFindings

    “When are you going to be able to afford a bigger place?”

    “Damn, he looks at you and you get pregnant!”

    “What kind of birth control are you using?”

    Serious. What is up with people and the need to tear us down, ESPECIALLY when there is a new life coming into this world? A life we’re obviously ecstatic over. I’m glad I’m not the only one here.

  • February 25, 2010

    K. Rock

    My husband and I were engaged to be married and honestly, he wasn’t in the best position with my family. They kind of didn’t like him. When I told my brother I was pregnant, he told my that dude would leave me. Imagine someone saying that. Now true I know that those types of things do happen but dang, do you have to say it to my face?! But 10 years and 2 more kids later we still tugutha so boo-yah to the haters!!
    .-= K. Rock´s last blog ..The whole truth =-.

  • February 23, 2010

    Execumama

    LOLOLOLOL, but not reallly! People really can be so insensitive sometimes. Here are three of my (un)fave’s that rattled my eardrums when folks got the news:
    “Damn, you goin’ get fat as hell!”
    “Aawww, sh*t! So what y’all goin’ do?” Mind you, I was 26 when we had our first child!
    “Your nose is gonna get big, and you’re going to get hemorrhoids!” Thanks, Killjoy McGee!

  • February 23, 2010

    Lena

    I got pregnant when I was 19… Everybody in both our families took it quite well, except my dad who pretented to take it well and actually said behind my back that my boyfriend had “ruined my life”… The worst reactions I got were from a person who claimed to be my best friend, and when she learnt i was pregnant the first thing she said was “There is no way you are going to keep it!”, and my boss when I told her whose first words were “But why didn’t you use any contraception?”… Hmmm… Maybe because this baby was planned?

    Now I just don’t care, I know that I take care of my son as well as I can, and I think he is happy and healthy.

  • February 23, 2010

    Jennifer @ Milk & Honey Mommy

    Sheena,

    How funny? Okay, maybe not. I had happiness all around me until one of my aunts pulled me aside at a family reunion. She was speaking for herself, but it still took me by surprise. She told me that she thought I was “smarter than that.” I had “options and opportunities that she didn’t have when she was younger.” I think much of this was motivated by the fact it was my third pregnancy and because of my age. It bothered me for a few minutes, but not longer only because she’s known for making remarks like that. Oh those relatives and I still love her.

    When you hear the comments, if they sound ridiculous, then YOU just keep moving. Many of the responses are not worth reacting to. Congratulations!
    .-= Jennifer @ Milk & Honey Mommy´s last blog ..Steady Watching the Olympics =-.

  • February 23, 2010

    Jessica

    My family was very supportive through both of my pregnancies, but my mother in-law was not a nice lady the first go ’round. She blurted out mid-sentence, “ARE YOU STUPID?” Hence the reason we waited until I was like 4 months along to tell her about my pregnancy with Addison.

    Criticism about my pregnancy really did not start until after I had both children. If I have to take my children to the doctor or Heaven forbid the emergency room, doctors never take me seriously when I tell them something is wrong with my children and I guarantee it has something to do with my age. It gets even more frustrating when one of my children is happy almost 100% of the time, even when she’s sick and they still think I am some kind of idiot.

    Oh the joys of young parenthood!
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..Home sweet home! =-.

  • February 22, 2010

    Wifey

    People say the CRAZIEST things. I didn’t have many folks say stupid stuff when I was pregnant, but after a miscarriage I got some crazy comments. Enough that I wrote a magazine article called “Miscarriage Manners.”

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey
    .-= Wifey´s last blog ..Love Don’t Live Here Anymore =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Cat @ 3 Kids and Us

    I had MANY similar conversations when I announced my pregnancy at 18. Oh and when I announced my pregnancy at 24 and again at 25. It just amazes me how rude and judgmental people can be when you decide to start your family at a young age.
    .-= Cat @ 3 Kids and Us´s last blog ..Creating Normalcy with Sunday Brunch =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Marie

    It’s great that the two of you were excited! And it’s a shame when you get rude comments like that. Especially when you get an uncalled for rude comment but they end it with “congratulations”. I mean, seriously? We all know you’re not being sincere!
    .-= Marie´s last blog ..Me, Debt and mom. =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    hangingwithmrscooper

    I’m happy for you. Life is a gift from God. I was the last of all my friends to get preganant and all of my aches and pains let me know it LOL. Wish I was in my younger 20s when I started. But then, I’d probably have 5 kids instead of 3. Anyway, Enjoy your Gift. Another addition to the family just means more fun.

  • February 21, 2010

    Angie

    I was young when I got pregnant the first time too so I heard similar comments.

    I left you a blog award on my blog: http://angiemarion.blogspot.com/2010/02/catching-up-on-blog-awards.html

    I love your blog and your photos soooo much!
    .-= Angie´s last blog ..Catching up on blog awards =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Shelly

    Um, I got so much crap from family of course announcing my pregnancy with William.– Wow, I thought you were done. Another one?? Can you afford it? I thought you were good enough the two girls.

    I can’t stand people especially family!! and Stesha’s comment cracked me up!! :)
    .-= Shelly´s last blog ..How to prounounce Ismail =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Jenn

    I was a few months shy of my 20th birthday when I got pregnant with my daughter (who is now five!), and my husband (then my fiance) was two months shy of his 22nd birthday. We received a lot of congratulations, but we also received a lot of criticism. Between my family and his, my mom took it the best. She had the realistic, “So what are you going to do?” approach and then was fully supportive of it. Obviously we did not deliberately get pregnant, but there I was, pregnant, and we weren’t going to abort. The unexpected pregnancy and the fact that we were so young definitely brought a lot of criticism our way. But everyone pretty much backed off and came back with congratulations and well wishes once they saw how quickly we got all of our ducks in a row.

    I was 22 and my husband was 24 when our son was born. He was conceived “deliberately”, as we wanted a second child and wanted both kids to be roughly two years apart. Even though we were still young, young to have just ONE child let alone another on the way, the fact that we had gotten married (before my daughter was born), established our own home and were supporting ourselves made all the difference in the world. All congratulations, no criticism.

    It’s true that parenthood isn’t something that should be entered into lightly, and that kids change everything. But in my opinion, they change things for the better (mostly, lol). :)
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..100 =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Sophia

    Sigh…. I feel you. I am the first amongst my friends to have a child. But no one reacted this way!
    .-= Sophia´s last blog ..Time-Tested Beauty Tips =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Drea

    YIKES! I had something similar happen when pregnant with Caleb.. a girl I went to school with had a baby at 16 and when she found out I had gotten pregnant (at 19, BUT MARRIED mind you!), she was telling me how hard it was and how I was to young and how I wasnt ready, etc..etc…

    HELLOOOO I was 4 mo pregnant when she found out and she was telling me this??

    All I could think was “does she not realize the difference in our situations”

    Being 16 in high school pregnant is a lot different than married and pregnant. Travis and I had been married a year then, he was 26 and I was 19.
    .-= Drea´s last blog ..Nursery Tidbits =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    TheYoungMommy

    @sheenatatum – Rudest response to me announcing my pregnancy? “Oh, was it planned?” or “Damn, really? You do know how babies are made?”
    .-= TheYoungMommy´s last blog ..in the air with a three-year-old =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    tanyetta

    ***What are some rude things that have been said to you after announcing your pregnancy?***

    You’re NOT married and you’re having a baby? Good Luck. Better you than me.
    Why did you wait so long to have more?
    You’re pregnant? Wait! When did your husband leave for Iraq?(i guess this meant they were trying to do the math in their head to see if in fact he was the daddy)
    When did you find the time to make Gracen? I thought you co-slept with DJ.
    I didn’t know you wanted to have more kids.
    Why did you wait so long to announce your pregnancy? Is this a high-risk pregnancy? Is everything alright with the baby?

    I have more. I can write a book. I will stop here. I think you get the idea. LOL

    Thankfully I never announce my pregnancies until I am 6 months anyway. So I only had 3 months to endure rude ass people and their comments. For the most part, I just realized it has NOTHING to do with me, the people saying the rude things are the ones with ISSUES.
    .-= tanyetta´s last blog ..Pantry eating fail =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    tanyetta

    There’s NO excuse for it. Whatever happened to people just saying Congratulations and keeping it moving? :(
    .-= tanyetta´s last blog ..Pantry eating fail =-.

  • February 21, 2010

    Stesha

    “You’re pregnant again?” People who respond like this, need a swift kick in the butt. I don’t understand how my pregnancy will change THEIR life. My husband just laughs at them.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha
    .-= Stesha´s last blog ..25 Years Later… =-.

Loading Facebook Comments ...