Note: I’m not pregnant, sorry for the confusion! This post is about the pregnancy with our 22 month old.
Seeing those two pink lines instantly appear on the two pregnancy tests I took? Best thing ever. Calling Greg up while he was in class (college) taking a test? Best thing ever. But when Greg and I announced our pregnancy with Jayden, we got some pretty rude comments. The general rule for replying to a pregnancy announcement is saying “Congratulations” or expressing some sort of happiness, no ifs, ands, or buts. These people obviously didn’t get the memo.
Greg: Sheena’s pregnant!
Anonymous: So what are you gonna do?
And now for the gem.
Warning: I don’t make a habit of cursing (often) on my blog. It’s offensive and unprofessional, but the convo would not be the same if I took them out. I asterisked the F and S bombs at least, happy?
Me: I’m in love and pregnant.
Anonymous: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat daaaaammm. nooooo sheena.. what the f*ck. watttt. thhhhheeee f*ckkkk..well congradulationsMe: Well damn, THANK YOU!
Anonymous: daaaammmmmm, how do u feel. are u happy,sad?
Me: Errr…happy, why would I not want my own child?
Anonymous: no. of course not goofy. i mean ur in school (college) and everything, don’t want to give u any bad news but life is going to get hard with greg jr. on the way.. awww yall got a little family now
There were more comments, but I’ve decided to keep their rudeness to myself. When a woman announces her pregnancy, the only thing that should come out of your mouth is Congratulations! You can think/assume what you want, but keep it to yourself! Your rudeness can be detrimental to both mom and baby!
What are some rude things that have been said to you after announcing your pregnancy?
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My husband and I were engaged to be married and honestly, he wasn’t in the best position with my family. They kind of didn’t like him. When I told my brother I was pregnant, he told my that dude would leave me. Imagine someone saying that. Now true I know that those types of things do happen but dang, do you have to say it to my face?! But 10 years and 2 more kids later we still tugutha so boo-yah to the haters!!
.-= K. Rock´s last blog ..The whole truth =-.
LOLOLOLOL, but not reallly! People really can be so insensitive sometimes. Here are three of my (un)fave’s that rattled my eardrums when folks got the news:
“Damn, you goin’ get fat as hell!”
“Aawww, sh*t! So what y’all goin’ do?” Mind you, I was 26 when we had our first child!
“Your nose is gonna get big, and you’re going to get hemorrhoids!” Thanks, Killjoy McGee!
I got pregnant when I was 19… Everybody in both our families took it quite well, except my dad who pretented to take it well and actually said behind my back that my boyfriend had “ruined my life”… The worst reactions I got were from a person who claimed to be my best friend, and when she learnt i was pregnant the first thing she said was “There is no way you are going to keep it!”, and my boss when I told her whose first words were “But why didn’t you use any contraception?”… Hmmm… Maybe because this baby was planned?
Now I just don’t care, I know that I take care of my son as well as I can, and I think he is happy and healthy.
Sheena,
How funny? Okay, maybe not. I had happiness all around me until one of my aunts pulled me aside at a family reunion. She was speaking for herself, but it still took me by surprise. She told me that she thought I was “smarter than that.” I had “options and opportunities that she didn’t have when she was younger.” I think much of this was motivated by the fact it was my third pregnancy and because of my age. It bothered me for a few minutes, but not longer only because she’s known for making remarks like that. Oh those relatives and I still love her.
When you hear the comments, if they sound ridiculous, then YOU just keep moving. Many of the responses are not worth reacting to. Congratulations!
.-= Jennifer @ Milk & Honey Mommy´s last blog ..Steady Watching the Olympics =-.
My family was very supportive through both of my pregnancies, but my mother in-law was not a nice lady the first go ’round. She blurted out mid-sentence, “ARE YOU STUPID?” Hence the reason we waited until I was like 4 months along to tell her about my pregnancy with Addison.
Criticism about my pregnancy really did not start until after I had both children. If I have to take my children to the doctor or Heaven forbid the emergency room, doctors never take me seriously when I tell them something is wrong with my children and I guarantee it has something to do with my age. It gets even more frustrating when one of my children is happy almost 100% of the time, even when she’s sick and they still think I am some kind of idiot.
Oh the joys of young parenthood!
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Home sweet home! =-.
People say the CRAZIEST things. I didn’t have many folks say stupid stuff when I was pregnant, but after a miscarriage I got some crazy comments. Enough that I wrote a magazine article called “Miscarriage Manners.”
Winks & Smiles,
Wifey
.-= Wifey´s last blog ..Love Don’t Live Here Anymore =-.
I had MANY similar conversations when I announced my pregnancy at 18. Oh and when I announced my pregnancy at 24 and again at 25. It just amazes me how rude and judgmental people can be when you decide to start your family at a young age.
.-= Cat @ 3 Kids and Us´s last blog ..Creating Normalcy with Sunday Brunch =-.
It’s great that the two of you were excited! And it’s a shame when you get rude comments like that. Especially when you get an uncalled for rude comment but they end it with “congratulations”. I mean, seriously? We all know you’re not being sincere!
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Me, Debt and mom. =-.
I’m happy for you. Life is a gift from God. I was the last of all my friends to get preganant and all of my aches and pains let me know it LOL. Wish I was in my younger 20s when I started. But then, I’d probably have 5 kids instead of 3. Anyway, Enjoy your Gift. Another addition to the family just means more fun.
I was young when I got pregnant the first time too so I heard similar comments.
I left you a blog award on my blog: http://angiemarion.blogspot.com/2010/02/catching-up-on-blog-awards.html
I love your blog and your photos soooo much!
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Catching up on blog awards =-.
Um, I got so much crap from family of course announcing my pregnancy with William.– Wow, I thought you were done. Another one?? Can you afford it? I thought you were good enough the two girls.
I can’t stand people especially family!! and Stesha’s comment cracked me up!! :)
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..How to prounounce Ismail =-.
Twitter: kissmykitty
I was a few months shy of my 20th birthday when I got pregnant with my daughter (who is now five!), and my husband (then my fiance) was two months shy of his 22nd birthday. We received a lot of congratulations, but we also received a lot of criticism. Between my family and his, my mom took it the best. She had the realistic, “So what are you going to do?” approach and then was fully supportive of it. Obviously we did not deliberately get pregnant, but there I was, pregnant, and we weren’t going to abort. The unexpected pregnancy and the fact that we were so young definitely brought a lot of criticism our way. But everyone pretty much backed off and came back with congratulations and well wishes once they saw how quickly we got all of our ducks in a row.
I was 22 and my husband was 24 when our son was born. He was conceived “deliberately”, as we wanted a second child and wanted both kids to be roughly two years apart. Even though we were still young, young to have just ONE child let alone another on the way, the fact that we had gotten married (before my daughter was born), established our own home and were supporting ourselves made all the difference in the world. All congratulations, no criticism.
It’s true that parenthood isn’t something that should be entered into lightly, and that kids change everything. But in my opinion, they change things for the better (mostly, lol). :)
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..100 =-.
RT @sheenatatum: New Post: Young And Pregnant. Let The Rudeness Begin: http://bit.ly/9My5GD @theyoungmommy
Sigh…. I feel you. I am the first amongst my friends to have a child. But no one reacted this way!
.-= Sophia´s last blog ..Time-Tested Beauty Tips =-.
Twitter: finadrea
YIKES! I had something similar happen when pregnant with Caleb.. a girl I went to school with had a baby at 16 and when she found out I had gotten pregnant (at 19, BUT MARRIED mind you!), she was telling me how hard it was and how I was to young and how I wasnt ready, etc..etc…
HELLOOOO I was 4 mo pregnant when she found out and she was telling me this??
All I could think was “does she not realize the difference in our situations”
Being 16 in high school pregnant is a lot different than married and pregnant. Travis and I had been married a year then, he was 26 and I was 19.
.-= Drea´s last blog ..Nursery Tidbits =-.
@sheenatatum – Rudest response to me announcing my pregnancy? “Oh, was it planned?” or “Damn, really? You do know how babies are made?”
.-= TheYoungMommy´s last blog ..in the air with a three-year-old =-.
***What are some rude things that have been said to you after announcing your pregnancy?***
You’re NOT married and you’re having a baby? Good Luck. Better you than me.
Why did you wait so long to have more?
You’re pregnant? Wait! When did your husband leave for Iraq?(i guess this meant they were trying to do the math in their head to see if in fact he was the daddy)
When did you find the time to make Gracen? I thought you co-slept with DJ.
I didn’t know you wanted to have more kids.
Why did you wait so long to announce your pregnancy? Is this a high-risk pregnancy? Is everything alright with the baby?
I have more. I can write a book. I will stop here. I think you get the idea. LOL
Thankfully I never announce my pregnancies until I am 6 months anyway. So I only had 3 months to endure rude ass people and their comments. For the most part, I just realized it has NOTHING to do with me, the people saying the rude things are the ones with ISSUES.
.-= tanyetta´s last blog ..Pantry eating fail =-.
There’s NO excuse for it. Whatever happened to people just saying Congratulations and keeping it moving? :(
.-= tanyetta´s last blog ..Pantry eating fail =-.
“You’re pregnant again?” People who respond like this, need a swift kick in the butt. I don’t understand how my pregnancy will change THEIR life. My husband just laughs at them.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
.-= Stesha´s last blog ..25 Years Later… =-.
RT @sheenatatum: New Post: Young And Pregnant. Let The Rudeness Begin: http://bit.ly/9My5GD @theyoungmommy