I seem to have misplaced my sexy. Have you seen her?

I look in the mirror and I see a young, supple face, harassed by breakouts like never before… a head full of healthy, full locs that sometimes have a personality of their own… glasses that slip and slide, with a prescription way past expiration.

This is not what I had in mind for myself at 24, a mom crisis of sorts. It’s not as bad as it seems, just a few small tasks to stay dedicated to. So why has it taken me almost 3 years to come to this realization? To want need my sexy back? I’m a mess and I gotta get it together! It’s time to rise up from this fog so I can be all like look at me now!

So many of us lose ourselves once we become parents. We put ourselves on the back burner in hopes that some day things will slow down enough for us to recoup. And well, sometimes that never happens and it’s up to us to take action. Make time and work hard. No ifs’ ands or but’s. I feel a passion erupting to somehow inspire others to get it back as I do the same. Nothing fancy…

As I write this, I feel shaky and warm. Emotionally disturbed. Which is how I know I can no longer put a hold on me.

What part of you have you seem to have misplaced? Are you actively trying to find it?

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Sheena Tatum

is the founder of Sophistishe. She's a free spirit, wife, boy mom, rental rebel, curator of pretty things, lover of vintage pyrex, and the tropics. Sheena can be found in NW Indiana with her husband and two scrumptious boys, clutching kraft paper, chalkboard paint, sriracha and chipotle pepper. In the midst of motherhood, wifedom, and managing a growing collection of digital projects, she somehow manages to find zen in being a quirky, introverted, lil’ lady.

13 Comments

  • Reply February 15, 2011

    jessi

    I have misplaced my style, and my ease. I’m now anxious and messy lmao. And YES, I’m trying hard core!!!

    {btw, came here via The Young Mommy Life…hi!}

  • Reply February 14, 2011

    Alicia @MommyDelicious

    AMEN!!!! I feel like it’s a main priority for me to take care of myself first. First. Especially as a young, single mom. I feel so much different when I so something for myself because, truth be told, motherhood is a pretty thankless job. Like, I KNOW my son loves when I take care of him, etc, but I must take care of myself. I used to feel guilty for getting my hair done, manicure, nice outfits, etc, but I don’t anymore. Or when I spend time with friends once in a while, I stopped feeling guilty about that too.

    Preach it, girl!!!!!

  • Reply February 11, 2011

    Drea

    I dont think you have lost ur sexy, but I can understand that same feeling :)
    Oh and breakouts.. Lordie lordie… mine didnt get bad until i had kids!!! I didnt have anything as a teen- but hormones through the roof after 21, and since then its been a battle.

    Im using the cleansing line from http://www.pureanada.com and ive seen huge changes.
    Also use an oil cleansing method every other day at night and it does wonders.

    My chin kept breaking out and the one thing to fix it was neosporin, weird huh?

  • Reply February 11, 2011

    Yakini

    Boy can I relate to this! I don’t even recognize myself half the time these days. I let myself go hard with these babies, and it’s no longer okay.

    I’ve dedicated the year 2011 to once again start taking care of ME and putting myself first. DH never stopped going to the barber to get his hair cut 1-2x a week when the babies came… he never stopped dressing nice and looking sharp, buying new clothes when he needs them… he has the Lasik while I still have the slip n’slide glasses (that have gotten progressively looser from little toddler hands playfully snatching them off my face over and over). So, i ask myself, why is it okay that I keep putting everyone else’s needs before mine?

    When you’re on a plane, the flight attendant reminds us to be sure and secure OUR own oxygen mask before attempting to help anyone with theirs. I realize now that mama’s gotta take care of mama first…. Because when I feel good outside, I feel even better inside, and in the end that makes everybody happy. And THAT is what makes a happy household.

    • Reply February 12, 2011

      The Young Mommy

      Yakini, you have the slip and slide glasses too? And yes, my husband has faithfully played basketball with his friends EVERY Saturday rain or shine before and after the babies, but I can barely manage to get out the house by myself once every couple weeks. Some things are changing – NOW!

  • Reply February 9, 2011

    Lisa

    I have misplaced my brain! LOL Ever since I was diagnosed with hyperactive hyperthyroidism, my brain has not been the same. I forget what to say, write, how to form sentences – the works. It’s awful. But hopefully I get my “brains” back. Btw, you are so young! You don’t need to worry about anything!

    • Reply February 10, 2011

      Sheena

      My brain is always in left field. I talk slow to keep from tripping all over my words. We need some fish oil!

  • Reply February 9, 2011

    Mama Violet

    I’m on the same quest. I like to get “fancy” but I don’t have much opportunity right now. I have a 5 month old baby. On the rare occasion when we leave the house (target, walmart, library) I spruce it up a bit. Put on my makeup. Wear earrings. Pull on a dress or a skirt.

  • Reply February 9, 2011

    Jenn

    To a certain extent I have definitely misplaced my sexy, which is ironic given the work I do. But I’m working on it.

    First thing I’d recommend: get a new eyeglass prescription! Then get some cheap and snazzy glasses from Zenni Optical or Eye Buy Direct. :)

    • Reply February 10, 2011

      Sheena

      You are getting hit on left and right, I think you got sexy down!

      I have a contact for GlassesUSA that hopefully hasn’t given up on me since I keep putting off my exam, lol!

  • Reply February 9, 2011

    The Young Mommy

    Girl, I’m with you. (Especially on the needing new glasses thing…such a pain in the butt!)

    I’m slowly getting there although I really just need to keep my socks on until I get that pedicure. LOL. Instead of trying to overhaul my life, I’m trying to focus on 5 minutes. Take 5 minutes to moisturize my hair in the morning. Take 5 minutes at naptime to paint my toes. Take 5 minutes to just BREATHE.

    We’ll get there – don’t worry!

  • Reply February 8, 2011

    Akilah

    Well, what’s next? Now that you know; now that you’ve started that “her” in the face and decided she no longer fits–what’s next? Optometrist appointment? Sexier jeans? Alkaline water and a good strong detox? Nose piercing? Nude running on the beach at night?

    It’s so easy for us to siip into that mode (#beenthere), but the moment it collars us and gets nose to nose, we’re given a great opportunity to start with baby steps to get us up to speed, not with where/who we were pre-babies, but who we are now, celebrating our mother/wife/nurturer status, and understanding that paying attention to ourselves is at the head of that whole lifestyle.

    I might have to find a way to get you to the next With Mom in Mind this June. *hurries off to conjur up opportunity*

    • Reply February 8, 2011

      Sheena

      I would love that!!!

      I bought me some sexier jeans and a new coat and the nose ring, detox, and eye doc appt is in thee werks! I gotta check out that Alkaline water! I am def not wanting to go back to pre-baby body, but I would love to have the clear skin again!

      Your avatar pic? *jaw drop*

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