The bulk of this post was written in November. I guess I should have published it, huh? Oh… and things are looking up and I *think* I may be on my way to blogging more. > This < surely helped :).
When I first became a “mom blogger”, I was so excited to join the community. I was expecting my very first child and I was going to blog with my husband (then fiancé) about how exciting our lives would be. The rainbows, the poop chronicles, the skips throw glorious sunny meadows, the happy family portraits, and trips to the park. Our blog was exciting, but somewhere down the line, we went through some changes. Life started to idle, I lost desire to chronicle firsts, and baby grew up. I still have photos of my lil’ dumplin’ that I have yet to edit and share… with ANYONE.
Jayden is nearing 3 years old and he has lost his new baby smell. He’s a toddler. He can be bratty at times. Yes, I referred to my child as bratty on my blog, oh my! I could call him “strong willed” or “spirited”, but it’s not me.
I remember the days where we could lay him down under an activity pad and he would… stay put. I remember the days when all it took to soothe him was some good ‘ol “Mama Nom Noms” (breastmilk).
I feel like I don’t gush over my child enough sometimes. I don’t even know if the “look at my cute kid” route is what I really want anymore. Uploading photos and videos. It’s work at times. I dunno, maybe I’m just going through a thing. Maybe I should live in the moment and forget about blogging in the moment…
There are times where I want to sit down and blog, but the boy has been trouble all day long. Do I tell it like it is or put on my poker face and end with a Hallejuah chorus with a side of snuggles?
Before I go on, this is not an attack; just one of my regularly scheduled rambles. Blame the introvert; we bottle, then burst.
Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about blogging and taking photos. Those two things have embedded themselves in me. No matter how frequently I do them, I still think about them. They may seem like time consuming tasks… but there is a big picture here (heh), at least in my world.
I have this deep want to blog in the moment, but by the time I sit down and get ready to do so, I’d rather not. There’s the process of writing, making sure my thoughts make sense. Making sure I don’t leave anything out. Making sure I am not misunderstood. Making sure the post doesn’t get too long because I actually have to be able to finish it in a timely manner (ugh, like this one). Making sure the post doesn’t come off as half-assed because it’s too short. Making sure that by saying something, I don’t open up a new can of worms that I have to respond to (like asking y’all to ask me questions! Ha!). Longer posts = more mistakes. I end up leaving my incomplete thoughts to be left in drafts or I don’t even attempt starting one because something so simple turns into a long-drawn-out process.
I am finally at a place where I don’t care what people think of my blogging habits. I’m not worried about my personal content to sponsored content ratio. In the past, I let this silliness work me up to the point where I fell behind in my sponsored obligations. I kept thinking, “Crap, I need to write x amount of personal posts before I write this review, host this giveaway, take this opportunity. Maybe I just need to scale back. Maybe I’d be more productive if… Maybe I could focus better if…” If I kept up with this thinking, I’d never get anything done. I did plan on scaling back, instead I created another blog. Whether I took sponsored opportunities or not, I probably would still be lacking personal (unsponsored if that’s what you want to call it) content. It’s just a time in my life that differs (see going through changes and bratty behavior). And I don’t feel like blogging about it every darn day to please others or annoy others with my cryptic or misconstrued thoughts.
Here we go…
My life isn’t all that interesting or adventurous as I’d like for it to be. That statement reads as written. I am not in a dark place. Trying, but not dark. Maaaybe I’ll have something in the next month, but I don’t like to count my chickens before they hatch. In between the terrific two’s, potty training, and sorting out other matters, I don’t have much fodder that excites me to the point of posting. But then again…is it my job to entertain? So anyway, yes there’s a lot going on, lots that won’t be published here (soon anyway). There’s a time and there’s a place. All is as well as it will be for now. That has been my answer to all who have asked, “Sheena, how are you?” I am just focusing on keeping a clear mind and weeding out anything that counteracts with my zen. I’m working towards FABULOUS by the time I turn 25. I’ll be 24… soon.
I blog (see sponsored obligations) so that I can live in the moment. My blogging gigs help me get closer to my online career goals. The more successful I am at what I do (managing a collection of internet businesses; some you see, some you don’t), I can spend less time working towards building those businesses in the future. I can wake up and say, “Hey, lets have fun today ’cause we don’t have to worry about any work that requires our immediate action.” That is the life that I want to live.
Sidenote: Can I just say that success is fully achievable without being in the limelight? Don’t feel like you have to be – especially if it makes you feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable. You don’t have to be all up in somebody’s face to make an impact.
As for taking pictures, I would actually like to do more of that. I’ve be picking up my camera less and less. Winter has that effect on me. I’d rather photograph beautiful flowers, green grass, the playground, the beach… warm stuff.
Taking pictures isn’t something I consider life consuming and I don’t take them soley to publish here. In fact, I think all people should take more pictures to document their lives. Those pictures will be with your loved ones forever and may have a positive impact on the lives of others.
Blogging in the moment, I choose not to do so if I can’t muster up the energy or passion.
I want my blog to display quality vs quantity. My blog is far from crème de la crème, but I’m not going to publish three words and a picture to boost my personal post count. That’s what Twitter and Facebook’s for.
With all that being rambled, I won’t get myself all worked up over blogging in the moment. If I can’t, I won’t. What I should be doing is living in the moment.
This post took me
a month 4 months to complete.
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