That new baby blog smell doesn’t last very long.

The bulk of this post was written in November. I guess I should have published it, huh? Oh… and things are looking up and I *think* I may be on my way to blogging more. > This < surely helped :).

When I first became a “mom blogger”, I was so excited to join the community. I was expecting my very first child and I was going to blog with my husband (then fiancé) about how exciting our lives would be. The rainbows, the poop chronicles, the skips throw glorious sunny meadows, the happy family portraits, and trips to the park. Our blog was exciting, but somewhere down the line, we went through some changes. Life started to idle, I lost desire to chronicle firsts, and baby grew up. I still have photos of my lil’ dumplin’ that I have yet to edit and share… with ANYONE.

Jayden is nearing 3 years old and he has lost his new baby smell. He’s a toddler. He can be bratty at times. Yes, I referred to my child as bratty on my blog, oh my! I could call him “strong willed” or “spirited”, but it’s not me.

I remember the days where we could lay him down under an activity pad and he would… stay put. I remember the days when all it took to soothe him was some good ‘ol “Mama Nom Noms” (breastmilk).

I feel like I don’t gush over my child enough sometimes. I don’t even know if the “look at my cute kid” route is what I really want anymore. Uploading photos and videos. It’s work at times. I dunno, maybe I’m just going through a thing. Maybe I should live in the moment and forget about blogging in the moment…

There are times where I want to sit down and blog, but the boy has been trouble all day long. Do I tell it like it is or put on my poker face and end with a Hallejuah chorus with a side of snuggles?

Jenny asked me, “How much time do you spend with your family and friends *not* thinking about blogging or taking pictures, but just being in the moment?”

Before I go on, this is not an attack; just one of my regularly scheduled rambles. Blame the introvert; we bottle, then burst.

Not a day goes by where I’m not thinking about blogging and taking photos. Those two things have embedded themselves in me. No matter how frequently I do them, I still think about them. They may seem like time consuming tasks… but there is a big picture here (heh), at least in my world.

I have this deep want to blog in the moment, but by the time I sit down and get ready to do so, I’d rather not. There’s the process of writing, making sure my thoughts make sense. Making sure I don’t leave anything out. Making sure I am not misunderstood. Making sure the post doesn’t get too long because I actually have to be able to finish it in a timely manner (ugh, like this one). Making sure the post doesn’t come off as half-assed because it’s too short. Making sure that by saying something, I don’t open up a new can of worms that I have to respond to (like asking y’all to ask me questions! Ha!). Longer posts = more mistakes. I end up leaving my incomplete thoughts to be left in drafts or I don’t even attempt starting one because something so simple turns into a long-drawn-out process.

I am finally at a place where I don’t care what people think of my blogging habits. I’m not worried about my personal content to sponsored content ratio. In the past, I let this silliness work me up to the point where I fell behind in my sponsored obligations. I kept thinking, “Crap, I need to write x amount of personal posts before I write this review, host this giveaway, take this opportunity. Maybe I just need to scale back. Maybe I’d be more productive if… Maybe I could focus better if…” If I kept up with this thinking, I’d never get anything done. I did plan on scaling back, instead I created another blog. Whether I took sponsored opportunities or not, I probably would still be lacking personal (unsponsored if that’s what you want to call it) content. It’s just a time in my life that differs (see going through changes and bratty behavior). And I don’t feel like blogging about it every darn day to please others or annoy others with my cryptic or misconstrued thoughts.

Here we go…

My life isn’t all that interesting or adventurous as I’d like for it to be. That statement reads as written. I am not in a dark place. Trying, but not dark. Maaaybe I’ll have something in the next month, but I don’t like to count my chickens before they hatch. In between the terrific two’s, potty training, and sorting out other matters, I don’t have much fodder that excites me to the point of posting. But then again…is it my job to entertain? So anyway, yes there’s a lot going on, lots that won’t be published here (soon anyway). There’s a time and there’s a place. All is as well as it will be for now. That has been my answer to all who have asked, “Sheena, how are you?” I am just focusing on keeping a clear mind and weeding out anything that counteracts with my zen. I’m working towards FABULOUS by the time I turn 25. I’ll be 24… soon.

I blog (see sponsored obligations) so that I can live in the moment. My blogging gigs help me get closer to my online career goals. The more successful I am at what I do (managing a collection of internet businesses; some you see, some you don’t), I can spend less time working towards building those businesses in the future. I can wake up and say, “Hey, lets have fun today ’cause we don’t have to worry about any work that requires our immediate action.” That is the life that I want to live.

Sidenote: Can I just say that success is fully achievable without being in the limelight? Don’t feel like you have to be – especially if it makes you feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable. You don’t have to be all up in somebody’s face to make an impact.

Moving on…

As for taking pictures, I would actually like to do more of that. I’ve be picking up my camera less and less. Winter has that effect on me. I’d rather photograph beautiful flowers, green grass, the playground, the beach… warm stuff.

Taking pictures isn’t something I consider life consuming and I don’t take them soley to publish here. In fact, I think all people should take more pictures to document their lives. Those pictures will be with your loved ones forever and may have a positive impact on the lives of others.

Anyway.

Blogging in the moment, I choose not to do so if I can’t muster up the energy or passion.

I want my blog to display quality vs quantity. My blog is far from crème de la crème, but I’m not going to publish three words and a picture to boost my personal post count. That’s what Twitter and Facebook’s for.

With all that being rambled, I won’t get myself all worked up over blogging in the moment. If I can’t, I won’t. What I should be doing is living in the moment.

This post took me a month 4 months to complete.


*publish*

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Sheena Tatum

is the founder of Sophistishe. She's a free spirit, wife, boy mom, rental rebel, curator of pretty things, lover of vintage pyrex, and the tropics. Sheena can be found in NW Indiana with her husband and two scrumptious boys, clutching kraft paper, chalkboard paint, sriracha and chipotle pepper. In the midst of motherhood, wifedom, and managing a growing collection of digital projects, she somehow manages to find zen in being a quirky, introverted, lil’ lady.

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17 Comments

  • Reply January 29, 2012

    Sheena

    I don’t remember what happened after I wrote this post. But now, I wish I had replied to the comments. And almost a year later, I’m going to do that because I value each and every one of you.

  • Reply March 15, 2011

    Elijah

    Yeah – I’ve had those 4 month blog posts… it’s brutal! Every blogger will tell you that the best content happens IN THE MOMENT, unless your writing a “pillar” style article strictly for SEO or some other organic search objective.

    At the time that I’m writing this, I have 4 posts sitting in “draft” status within WordPress – one of them is from almost 2 years ago.

    Pathetic.

    Ah well… To blog, or not to blog – that is the question!

    • Reply January 30, 2012

      Sheena

      Elijah,

      I don’t even want to look at how many drafts I have. One day I’m going to go digging to see which ones I can actually finish or maybe put a spin on.

      Thanks for commenting!

  • Reply March 7, 2011

    Jessica

    So I started blogging to share in a bit of a different kind of way. My kids are older so they have far passed the cute stages, more like the eye rolling stage at this point. They don’t allow me to take pictures of them anymore because I work out the camera from being welcome anymore.

    But sometimes I feel the same. I just don’t care anymore. I just want to do me and if I get some perks along the way so be it.

    And just like you, I don’t have that much stuff going on in my personal life either. I work online all day, or chat on the phone. Then I play taxi driver bringing kids to and from school. That sums up my days. LOL

    • Reply January 30, 2012

      Sheena

      Exactly, I just want to do my own thing without having to worry about being awesome (for the awesome perks) all of the time. It’s sad, sometimes I’ll be like “Let’s go here, so I can blog about it”… so it looks like I have a life, lol.

  • Reply March 5, 2011

    ElisabethCS

    Great post! Agree with all that you said!

    It’s nice to know I’m not alone on these feelings.

    P.S.

    I have adorable *bratty* kids too.

  • Reply March 4, 2011

    Kathleen

    I totally get this. It’s rough being a mom of an active (if sometimes bratty) little boy. I swear my son sucks up most of my time and energy too, understandably of course.

    I too would like to blog more, but am tired by the time I get a chance, or just distracted by reading other blogs and such. I honestly don’t know how so many bloggers do it, especially ones that craft beautifully photographed posts or do craft tutorials, rather than the occasional brain-dump confessional post.

    Lately, I’ve been lucky to post 3 times a week. I doubt I’ll be able to keep up with that once the new baby comes. Still I press on, especially because I can’t imagine not keeping up with the blog. I’d miss it too much, since it’s become such a part of my life.

    You’ll figure out what works for you, and probably it will ebb and flow in waves, where you get inspired by something and post a lot, then taper off.

    • Reply January 30, 2012

      Sheena

      Kathleen,

      You do such a better job than me. At my rate, I’m at about 3 posts every 2 weeks. Jayden’s starting Pre-K soon so I’ll have a SMALL break to be creative!

  • I have been blogging for less than a year now, but I totally understand where you are coming from. Although I didn’t start blogging as a way to chronicle life with my son, I do sometimes feel the self-imposed “pressure” to publish a post 2-3 times a week. I think it’s because all the tips out there say that bloggers should do that to keep their readership up. IDK… Now I’m at the point where I’ll blog about something IF I learned a lesson out of it, or IF it affected me in some way. I try SO HARD not to take pictures or remember cute phrases my son says JUST so I can put it up on the blog. I try to just be authentic. And hopefully I have faithful enough readers who’ll keep coming back because of that, more than anything else.

  • Reply March 3, 2011

    Yakini

    Gosh, you are so in my head! I totally understand this post, from beginning to end. My personal blogging has decreased in frequency as well…. and it’s not that “life” has ceased to happen… it’s that I don’t always feel like blogging about what’s happening. That isnt to say things aren’t good, or things arent blog-worthy. It just needs to feel natural for me, organic if you will… otherwise constructing the blog post feels like “work,” and that isn’t how I want blogging to be for me (at least not my personal blog).

    Oh god, and don’t get me started on the guilt/internal battles over “I can’t post another sponsored/review/giveaway post until I do at least ONE personal blog, that’s not a Wordless Wednesday, blah blah blah.” I’ve wrestled with that one too.

    It was only until I read this article a few weeks back that I started to change my mindset about the whole blogging thing: http://www.un-marketing.com/blog/2010/04/09/frequently-futile-how-often-should-you-blog/ I almost did back-flips, because in a way it validated everything I was feeling. (Yes, sad that I needed “validation” from outside, but whatev). Now I realize that I’d rather give my readers authenticity – meaning, if it’s not from a heartfelt place, or something I’m truly interested in writing about, I’m not gonna just throw some crap up there just to adhere to any self-imposed 2-3 posts a week quota. I used to feel like I had to do that to keep my readership up… and perhaps that is necessary. But I’d rather blog when I wanna blog, and not feel that sense of pressure. Cuz like the author says, in #2, Obligation Doesn’t Drive Passion. My personal blog was borne of passion and heart, and I’d like to keep it that way…. even if it means losing a few readers who have lost patience with me.

    Okay, this comment got way longer than I intended…. but just wanted you to know that I feel you, girl!

  • I TOLD you we need to talk more often! I can absolutely, positively relate to everything you said in this post. There are some days when I just don’t feel like it. I sit down, trying to force words out, and nothing comes. Or what comes out is utter crap. Then there are days when I feel like I could stop blogging altogether, and noone would notice. Trust me when I say I FEEL YOU!

    Like you, I’ve finally gotten comfortable with writing when I damned well feel like it, and not because I have some post quota to meet. It took a few years, but doesn’t it feel nice to release yourself from the self-imposed prison that blogging can become? You’ve said all the things I’ve been thinking. Thank you for that!

  • This is so honest and so real. I love the way you write. I’ve known you throughout these last 3 years… and I have loved following you. You’re a wonderful woman Sheena! And I look forward to watching you more and more. xoxo

    • Reply January 30, 2012

      Sheena

      Aww Audrey, your words mean more to me than you’ll ever know. Keeping your hubby in my thoughts. Love ya!

  • Reply March 2, 2011

    Joanna

    Well said!!! This is exactly how I’ve been feeling. I went through the whole thought process with my review blog about personal content to sponsored and giveaways last year. It was just too much time consuming that only I really cared about. This is why I shut it down and moved on to my other blog. Every time I sit down now to write an “in the moment post”, the moment passes because I leave the post in my drafts and then when I sit down to finish it, it’s kinda like “bleh, it’s over, it wasn’t all that thrilling and why do I have the need to share it with the whole internet.”. I also feel that quality over quantity is more important. I think those that are in the whole more, more, more posts for more, more, more traffic are those that are wanting to be big and make the money that they assume all those bigger bloggers are making. But in the nitty gritty of it all, quality is whats important. I would much rather visit a blog that the blogger has written a post that is meaningful and well written rather than one that is filling space.

    Btw…My kids are totally bratty at times and I have totally written about it! :-) Because after all, it’s the truth of my life that goes into my blog.

  • Reply March 2, 2011

    Lindsay Dianne

    To me, quality of posts means the most heartfelt.
    I find that on the posts where I am real about my struggles… people have the most heartfelt reactions. They give me support and they express their own feelings of doubt and… “my kid is a brat”.

    Those people who pretend they have the perfect kids on their blog? they don’t get return visits from me.

    • Reply March 2, 2011

      Sheena

      I agree! When I sit down and write something of worth, I get a great response from people I never knew were reading. Not assuming that this post will… I’m totally doubtful like that. It’s nice to read about the love a parent has for their child – always is, but for goodness sakes do they ever do anything that makes you want to lock yourself up in the bathroom with a chocolate bar for 5 minutes? At least think about it? LOL

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