Encouragement is near and dear to me. Growing up is when I needed it the most. With Jayden starting school in the next year, it pains me to think about him suffering in the ways that I did. He is such a happy little boy and no one as long as I’m his mother, will rob him of that.

I had a rough time growing up. This is the condensed version. I received my share of ridicule in school… because I cherished good grades (before they started to decline), because I wore glasses, because my fourth grade teacher would defend and praise me, because of the figure (in the later years) and stylish threads that I didn’t have. My mother’s response would always be, “oh, they’re just jealous”. Maybe that was the case because the ringleaders who tormented me through fourth grade all were in temporary homes and the other folks were not so bright… Now, I feel sorry for them, but then? Not so much.

Random rudeness continued to follow me for many years. I’d wake up and wonder what ignorant mess I’d have to deal with for the day. Those less than stellar experiences kept me from doing so many things from junior high to high school because of my lack of confidence and motivation to do better. Hearing “you can do it”, at home just wasn’t good enough for me and few teachers in high school actually provided those words anyway. I grew avoidant of school (from 7^th-11^th grade, I played sick quite often) and people, and sometimes I said or did mean things to others because it felt good for once to be in control. And that’s definitely not how I wanted to be remembered. My academics slipped and I started doing just enough to get by, but I got it together when switching schools my senior year. My, oh, my was the atmosphere much happier. Sometimes that’s what it takes.

The thought of Jayden ever feeling robbed of his childhood, wishing he shoulda, coulda, woulda because of other people’s spitefulness or lack of encouragement when he needed it the most… having those years affect him in his adult life… makes me want to melt into an emotional glop.

It is so important for our children to know that we care, believe in them, and understand the matter we are particularly providing encouragement for. Be their biggest cheerleaders and provide the “why” not just because it’s our jobs as parents or leaders and we love them, but why we think they rock. Make them feel special. Always. And while we’re at it, instill compassion and encourage them to be supportive of others as well. What a wonderful world we would live in.

I have no idea where this little note is, but I scanned it as soon as I got home. I knew that someday, I’d need to look at it. Six years later, my life is quite wonderful and beautiful.

This post was inspired by Hallmark’s Life Is A Special Occasion campaign. Although Hallmark is compensating me for my participation in this campaign, all dramatic words and tears are my own. Read my full disclosure policy here.

If you are looking for inspiring ways to encourage the ones you love, click this link right here and Hallmark will put some right in your inbox.

Another read on encouragement: The sister that I never had was right there on Facebook.

© Sophistishe 2011 | Permalink | 10 comments - Let's chat!

Warning, this is a long post! I started this post on November 22nd which explains why I said it’s been two months since my last post.

It’s been two months since my last post and I must say that things are good. I look back last year and remember the days when we scrambled to pay bills late and after paying them not having much left over. I honestly don’t know how we did it, but we did it together. During that time, so much was going on, I didn’t feel like blogging here. I was trying to do my thing as as a parenting blogger at Mommy Daddy Blog, so I felt the need to make sure my issues weren’t blasted into the blogosphere. I wanted to keep everything rainbows and lollipops, but we all know life is far from that. I know I like to read happy and uplifting things, the last thing I wanted to do was turn people off. But when you let people into that chapter of your life, your experiences may be comforting to someone who may be going through the same. That’s why I started reading blogs.

I’m working on showing my human side again online. The side I showed before becoming a parent. When Greg and I started Mommy Daddy Blog, I had intentions of running both this blog and that one. I couldn’t keep up. I pushed myself to the side. I started censoring myself in fear of offending readers or the ones who contributed to our cash flow. And I mean it was the little things, not even things that were truly offensive. But I just felt I couldn’t let my true character shine once sponsors came in to the mix. I paid attention to the “image” brands were going for and the other mom bloggers who were climbing the social media ladder. Anything that would give the impression of us not having it together, I simply kept bottled up inside.

I am not the cookie cutter mom in the tv commercials. I’m young and I’m just starting out. I am 23 and Greg is 22. I could care less about any negative thoughts on being young parents or not having a plan in place. Jayden was a surprise, but starting a family was something that we wanted more than anything. He is our everything. Just to give a taste of how badly we wanted kids, our dog had his own bedroom and a wardrobe. We took him wherever we could. I wore him in a sling. Yea. And no, we weren’t one of those couples who compared the struggles of taking care of a pet to the struggles of taking care of a child, but we loved that dog.

Moving on, we are far from the Joneses. And I realize umm we don’t have to be. We are doing a hell of a lot better than many folks who are or were our age with or without kids. But I felt if I wrote about our struggles, opportunities to monetize our blog would not come. The first year of becoming parents was rough financially. We moved to be closer to family, school and job left behind. We’ve resented that move many times. It was like we moved just so that it could be more convenient for family to see Jay. That’s it. And when they saw him, we were coming out there all of the time. Why did we move again?

Some time in between Greg fell out of love with blogging. I’ll let him comment on that if he wishes. I struggled trying to keep things afloat and failed. There’s only so many cutesy picture posts of Jayden that I could post before readers start wondering why sponsors are working with me when the content has gotten so damn bland. I had a hard time taking compliments on something that I wasn’t even proud of. I cringed each time I heard someone tell me how cool it was that both Greg and I blogged together when the last post he wrote was many many months ago.

Things are better since we moved again in September. We are still about the same distance from family and they visit more. Greg’s parents and grandmother pick up Jayden when they can, so we can rejuvenate. Finances are much much better. I realize all of my blogging faux pas and I’m ready to pull myself out of the ditch and continue down the road I veered off of. I’m going back to the basics. That doesn’t mean that I’m no longer participating in sponsored opportunities. Blogging is my business. Running a business is my passion, just not when I am not being myself while doing it. Let me stop and say how thankful I am for my sponsors. I am not blaming them at all for my actions. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know where we’d be. We’ve been truly fortunate.

Personal blogging is something that I really enjoyed for 6 years. I tried something new (mom blogging as I perceived it) and it didn’t work. It’s time to move on. I will be ringing in the new year with intentions of keeping it real. It’s the only way I can be a confident and passionate blogger. Starting over in a sense kinda worried me. But you know what? It’s not about the blog and stats you’ve built. It’s about the person behind the blog. I know my following will meet me here. As I continue to write, traffic from search engines and other sources will trickle in. If I cannot build brand relationships based on being myself, then I don’t need them. Simple as that.

Related Post: Switching Gears To Fuel My Passion

© Sophistishe 2010 | Permalink | 78 comments - Let's chat!