“Do you have siblings?“, a reader and friend once asked me. And I never fully answered that question. At least I don’t think I have.
By now, some of you may have figured out. And the answer could vary from “No.” to “Maybe.”.
Well, here’s the answer:
I am my mom’s only child, but I’m one of three (and possibly more) of my father’s children. I have only known of two of them. One, my older brother (from another mother), who I’ve met once when I was a little girl, and an older sister (from another mother other than my brother’s) who I knew of. My mother, while pregnant with me, met my sister when she was five years old. My sister knew of me, but didn’t know my name. Either my father had given her a fake name for me or the name of one of his other kids (assuming there’s more). Who knows.
A couple of years ago, I decided to Google my sister’s name. I found a Myspace and Facebook account matching her name and location. I showed my results to Greg and he suggested that I send her a message. But how exactly do you do that? “Hey, are you my sister?” And what if she was? What if she wasn’t? I blew it off. I thought it was silly and there was just too much involved that I wasn’t ready to deal with yet.
Years would go by with an ocassional nudge from Greg to search for my father’s side of the family. A few child support jokes and convincing myself that I’m perfectly fine not knowing later, I had brushed it off again. Like seriously, why do I need to know this guy? And what if I don’t even get along with my siblings (and whoever else)?
There was a scene from the Real World’s Las Vegas that stuck with me. It was the scene where Nany sought out to find her father. She went through a dectective and unfortunately found that her father had passed away just a few years before her search. Fortunately, she found her sister and established a relationship with her. Together, they visited his grave.
A nudge by Greg followed.
Around Father’s Day of this year, I found myself wondering if the woman that I found on Myspace and Facebook really was my sister. I guess I could look again. I pulled up her Facebook profile and noticed that we had a mutual friend this time around. Hmmm. Upon further digging, Mylife.com (or a similar site) listed her as associated with my father or brother’s name (he’s a junior). And her age matched up. I found myself going through her Facebook photos trying to find ways in which we resemble. I clicked through photos of her beautiful boys, my possible nephews. I finally mustered up the courage to have our mutual friend ask her about her father, brother, and some other details. I then, added her as a friend on Facebook. I woke up the next morning and found our pending friendship had been accepted and that I had just been listed as her sister on Facebook. It was confirmed without a doubt!
I found my sister on Facebook, y’all. And it only took me two years…
Like Nany, my father is up in age. I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again in this lifetime unless it’s at his grave. My sister saw him about a year ago, so he may possibly still be here, but we have no way of contacting him. He was always discreet about his whereabouts. *shakes head* But at this point, I honestly have no strong desire to see him other than for him to see the beauty he created and then abandoned.
I’m looking forward to slowly, but surely establishing a relationship with my sister and nephews (3 and counting!); the silver lining of this all.
I’m not totally sure if I would have even gone through the lengths that I did to find my sister, had it not been for Greg encouraging me to do so. So this post is dedicated to him :).
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